Monday, June 30, 2008

Sad and hopeful reading...

Today has been the laziest Monday on record at the Beauchamp house, which is saying a lot. Charlie has enjoyed most of the Noggin daily lineup, thanks to mommy being totally obsessed with reading a blog I came across. Matt lost his wife only hours after thier daughter was born, and has been blogging about life with little Madeline ever since. He has tons of support and a huge following. Plus, the photos are amazing, and there's nothing that makes you appreciate the people in your life like reading about someone else's tragic loss.
Start here, and read forward:
Matt, Liz, and Madeline
Thank you, Matt, for the inspiration!

The rest of the photos...

Thanks for checking out the photos! Catherine is so insanely good, and I just love these so much. Here are a few more favorites:


Saturday, June 28, 2008

Maternity Photo Sneak Peek!

Like I said, having amazingly talented friends is such a blessing!
Catherine came over yesterday and we had a lot of fun with our maternity session. She is still working on the photos, but I was so excited to get a little preview.
Check them out at the MyLife Blog!

Friday, June 27, 2008

One year ago, I saw this face...

Somehow, a year has passed since we received our referral for our beautiful son. We had only waited about 5 months, which to me seemed like an eternity. Since it was past the June 15th "cutoff", I was pretty bummed and trying to resign myself to being caught in the summer court closure. I worked at the studio that afternoon. By working I mean I exchanged pitiful emails with my waiting buddy, Kari. Here is what I wrote to her that morning:

Hey! I guess I am at semi-peace with it. I don't feel like our referral is coming now, so I don't think about the phone ringing anymore. I am just still trying to focus on the positives, and also trying to set up my business so that I can have more free time when the baby does come. I'm not saying it's gotten any easier, but what can I do other than get used to it? It would be an awesome surprise if Kristina was dialing our number right this minute (*gazing at phone*...haha). I just have to figure that our baby just isn't ready for us yet. I can't wait to see what Jan says! I am curious to know how long they expect us to try to hang on. Maybe we do still have a chance.....haha, here I go again. I hope you are doing okay! I know how hard this is for you guys too. I wish this summer would just get on with it already!

Feeling crappy, I left my assistant, Amber to run the place and went home. Around 4, Adam was playing Nintendo (original, baby) and I was watching some documentary on Internet weirdos or something. My cell phone rang, and it was Amber, who was absolutely freaking out. I heard "Kristina called! I accidentally hung up! I'm so sorry! Could this be IT?? Oh, I'm sorry, Oh, my God! Call her back!" I tried to ignore the twinge I felt in my body that maybe, just maybe this was it. I looked over at Adam and explained that Kristina had called and that she was probably letting us know that there were no more referrals coming. Adam could see right through that shit. It was obvious that I was determined that this was the call. He just said "Don' know..." and I said, "Okay" and dialed the number. She answered, and gave me that famous line..."Is this a good time?" My heart dropped to my feet. I knew that in a few minutes, most of that heart would belong to someone else. And I was right. I can't describe the excitement of pulling up that email to see your child's face for the first time. I can't describe the devastation you feel for the birth family as you simultaneously celebrate your good fortune. Here is what we saw:

After 8 weeks of carrying this photo everywhere I went, we flew across the world and brought our son home. In the last 9 months, Charlie has changed so much, and changed all of us as well. Becoming his mother was the hardest thing I have ever done, and the most amazing. Looking back, I don't think I even realized how hard it was. He was so out of it at first, and I had no idea yet, because I was still learning his real personality. Now you can see him coming from a mile away. Charlie lights up room, steals hearts, talks back because he "IS BIG!" He wants people to "feel all better", and gives hugs and kisses when he wants to. (They are worth the wait!). He wants to play, to help, and make you laugh. He is the most special person I know. How could I be so lucky? I laid awake for a long time last night thinking about that day, one year ago. I thought about how I would blog about it. How I remember it. And whether I would keep it light and joyful, or let some of the grief and the guilt that has built in me over the last year spill into it. I want to focus on the beauty of Feke's story, and ours, but it is impossible to do that without accepting the tragedy that was the first big event in our boy's life. There is no reason, other than dumb luck, that I was the woman who had a baby placed in her arms rather than having to let him go. I am in no way a better choice for his mom. Her name is Deselech, and I just can't post about our referral without thanking her for her strength and courage. After a long time thinking last night, I went into Charlie's room, scooped him up, and cried to the framed photo of his birth parents. I wondered if, knowing what I know now, and how hard it will be to one day help our son understand it all, would we do it again. My answer is yes. Here are some photos I took of Charlie this morning, one year later:

For anyone waiting for a referral, or waiting to travel, or researching adoption in general...hang in there. I really believe that your child will come to you, with their own story. It's a huge responsibility, but so worth it. Don't be afraid to celebrate, and don't be afraid to mourn. It's all part of the package, but the best part, of course, is becoming a parent. Yes, a 'real' parent...I love you, Charlie Fekadu...

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Splish, Splash!

On Friday the Hot Mom playgroup took our kids to a local water park. I had never been there, but was happy to go. As long as they have umbrellas, I said. :)
It turned out to be PERFECT for the kids. There was a play area for the littler ones that was safe enough that I felt good sitting in the shade while Charlie splashed and played and generally terrorized the other kids. (Okay, he only did that once. Or twice). The big slides looked like fun, but of course I had to sit out. Catherine and Jess both took Charlie down them, which he loved. We stayed for hours, and I can't wait to go back. Come on, they even have a snack bar!

Almost as good as the water park? The nap we had once we got home!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Life Lesson No. 32

Be Friends With Ridiculously Talented Artists

Tonight my good friend Laurie came over to help me with something I have been seeing in my head, but could never do in a million years. She did it freehand, and just added all the touches as she worked. It was a lot of fun to sit and watch her and talk and catch up. And BONUS...our kids are the same age, so they had a nice crazy day of playing. Thank you so much Laurie! I love it!

Monday, June 16, 2008


Last week Adam was scheduled to do 3 jobs in Mobile, Alabama. Usually, he has to fly to his jobs, but this time he was driving, and we have family near there, soooo...a road trip was born! It was so nice to get to go with him, instead of sending him off for 3 or 4 days alone. Here's the backstory on the fam: My cousin, Jill, her hubby Garrett, and thier kids all moved to the Gulf Shores area a couple of years ago, knowing that her parents would eventually retire there. Well, now they are all down there and loving it. My mom misses her sister, but hopefully we will be making lots of trips back and forth. Jill and Garrett have 5 amazing kids, 3 boys were first, and then came the twins, a boy and a girl. The kids are amazing, all of them. Funny, charming, smart, and best of all WELL BEHAVED! We went to a great seafood place for lunch one day, and I was joking (only not, because it was true) that their 5 were much easier than our ONE. Jill is amazing as well. She is a couple of years older than me, and I remember growing up thinking she was the coolest person in ther world. She listened to R.E.M and U2 and went to concerts and had long perfect hair and was always beautiful. Once we both got older, we got close and now we talk on the phone alot. Her interest in Ethiopia and her love for Charlie truly mean so much to me. Watching her be such a wonderful mom is an inspiration, and in fact I learned a lot this week. She makes it all look so easy, and I was taking notes the whole time! She's a total Wonder Woman! She and Garrett were the best hosts. The whole visit was wonderful...We were all excited to have the kids play together, which they did nonstop, with only a few altercations (mostly caused by one Prince Charles!)
Thanks, you guys for having us, for making us feel so welcome, and for the late night talks that will surely bring us even closer. We love you all so much.

See...told you we had fun!!

Yesterday we had a great Father's Day. I have lots to share about it, but that will be my next post. For now, let's all send some welcoming vibes to Dierdre's baby girl, who seems to have shunned my idea about sharing a birthday today! :)

Oh, and thanks for all the sweet comments on my last post. Maaaaaybe I was fishing for them. I need the boost right now! Love you all.