Roll Call!

Hehe.

Ahem.

I have seen this done on other blogs, and I thought it would be fun to see who is visiting our little corner of the internet. I'm sure some people STILL won't say hi, but please do! I would love to add some new blogs to my list, so let me know if that's okay! :) Hope to "meet" you soon!

Heather

Lazy weekend

Thank you so much to everyone who posted on my last entry. I know it was terribly depressing, but I know there are a lot of familes who are suffering with us right now. I have since become convinced that I will be able to keep my promises. What choice do I have, after all?
This weekend has been great! Friday night Charlie had some Patty Poo time, and Adam and I went out with our buds Dustin and Catherine. We ate THE BEST meal at Olive Garden (hey, it's fancy for us these days) and saw Cloverfield, which I really liked. It was awesomely fun and silly and sometimes scary. Saturday we bummed around, played with Prince Charles, and went grocery shopping. I spent about 2 hours making a meticulously planned list for the store. Being pregnant, I feel I have to make sure to purchase anything that I (ahem, the BABY) might crave at any given moment. SO we have 3 jumbo boxes of popsicles and 12 cans of Campbells soup and a $5 box of cookies. OH, and watermelon. Mmmmmm....Adam was not too happy with the final total. He IS better at being thrifty than I am, but if he plans our meals all week, we have corndogs and mac and cheese at least twice.
Saturday night was our first attempt at getting Charlie to go to bed on his own. I still rocked him, I don't want to lose that time together. But after awhile, I laid him in his crib and told him nite nite and left the room. He did good for about the first 10 minutes, then he cried. Well, yeah...he cried a lot. I felt awful. I went in and out of the room to comfort him, but each time I went in it got worse. BUT he didn't try to get up, he stayed tucked in. After only about 20 minutes, he was asleep. And peaceful sleep, not I-just-cried-myself-to-sleep-sleep. Tonight he did even better with about 5 minutes of calling for me (I answered from out in the hall) and then....sleep! Yaaaay! Now the tricky part is keeping him from wanting to get in our bed at 4 am. OF COURSE I love to snuggle with my son, but we really need this. I need sleeeeeeep.
Today for SOME reason, I had the cooking bug and I spent all day making chili. I have been on a quest for the perfect chili recipe, especially since Christmas when my Auntie Ann brought some chili that could have been the last thing I ever ate. I searched for a recipe close to hers, and I really am proud of it. I also made 2 pans of Paula Deen's corny cornbread and a pan of brownies. Watching your cholesterol? Don't come to dinner at my house! Yikes. It was all really good though and tomorrow we are having veggies, I promise.
I seem to have misplaced my left arm, no wait, I mean my MEMORY CARD READER. I am going crazy. I can't upload pictures! I think maybe Charlie hid it from me as payback? The kid IS smart.
So, hopefully, new pictures soon to come!
OH, I forgot. The doc visit! No "parts" yet, they said we will find out at 20 weeks. Soon enough! I told Charlie that there is a baby in my tummmy. He pats it and makes the SWEETEST little face you have ever seen. And he tells people, "baby in 'ere". It is so cute. Oh, and the other morning, I was umm....sick (yes, STILL) and he came in the bathroom behind me and reaches out..."tissue". he brought me a tissue! And then he patted my back until I was all better. I swear I am living with an angel....well, sometimes. ;)

Sick, Sinking, and Helpless Feeling.

I just received an email from our adoption agency. Lots of you received the same email tonight, and I know that many of you are having the same feelings that I am. But I have to get these feelings out. I can't explain how upset I am. Basically, some changes have been made, and CHS is no longer allowing birth family meetings, and no longer providing Post Adoption Services. This means that even though I clung to Charlie Fekadu's birth mother and cried with her and promised her pictures and letters as often as possible, I was not telling her the truth. I cannot fathom that these people will now how to live out the rest of their lives wondering what happened to their son? That those people who they talked to for half an hour were lying and they do not care to think about them ever again?
From what I have read, it looks like this rule has come from the whole debate of the meaning of a "true orphan". All I can think is that someone decided that if a parent is to relinquish parental rights, then they must also give up their desire to care about their child's well being, their future, and the idea that they MIGHT have been able to have some piece of mind that they did the right thing when they see photos of their child, smiling and happy, and read letters from them as they grow older. Maybe I am partly upset because I thought that sending letters and photos would alleviate some of my guilt. I am sure that's some of it, and I am being honest. But how I am supposed to feel, when I cannot uphold my promise? They gave us a gift that I can't even begin to thank them for, and yet, they will never know how truly blessed and grateful we feel. They will wonder if something horrible has happened, if Charlie Fekadu is safe, if we ever even think about them at all. I want her to feel his smile, even if it is gazing at her from a glossy 4x6. I thought that was the ONE thing I could do for her. I put my face close to Charlie's every night and just breathe him in, and pray that somehow, across the world, she can feel him and smell him and sense him. I guess I will have to pray harder.

Slacka!

I have been so....not blogging! Eeek! And right now it is bedtime, so here's a quick update:
*This week, it snowed! Not once, but TWICE. It was beautiful. The first time we have had snow in YEARS. Yay!
*My little baby brother turned 18 today. Oh my...how did this happen. I love him so much and I am so proud of who he is. He will always be my baby bro, even if he is WAY cooler than me now.
*We had an AMAZING gathering of Et adopting families in Atlanta last weekend. It was almost a shock, seeing that many new faces. It was so much fun. I wish I had gotten to talk to everyone, and I can't wait for the next gathering. On a more solemn note, our group has suffered some tragic losses, and I hope those familes know that we are thinking of them, praying for them, and our hearts are with them now. Peace and love to you.
*Yesterday I made it to my second trimester! Woohoo! Our next appointment is Wednesday, and I am really really excited, because we may find out....brother or sister?? (I'm thinking pink....we shall see!)
*My car broke down (alternator) and is officially gracing the yard of my best friend, Jess. So much for property value! Ha. We should have it fixed this week, and our next car...I am working on Adam....here goes my youth, officially....a minivan. Ahem.
*Charlie's new favorite phrases..."Oh, CRAP!"..."Dus kiddin'!"....and "raaaaaawrr". as he pretends to be a monster and comes after you. Too cute, as usual.

Things my son may kill me for in the future, Part One...

Dear Charlie,
This is your Mommy. I am sorry to have to do this, but you are just so darn cute, I have no choice in the matter. I think you will agree...
I love you!

Morning Potty Session:

Nothing's haaaaaappening....

Maybe I'll do a little reading...

Eh...

Still having fun, though!

What do you mean, I can't have the camera??!

It's okay, I'm just kiddin'!

Boy, this is taking forever...I think I'm missing Little Einsteins.

One more try!!!

Nope, but hey, how cute am I??

Quick Update!

After a rough night for all of us, Charlie woke up all better! He has been back to his old self all day, and it is great! Thanks for everyone who was thinking and praying for him. I think it worked! Hopefully next time, I won't be such a spazz, but....I might.
Now I am off to get ready for our monthly girl's night out! Yaaaay! Trivia, here we come!

What a Day!

Today and tonight have been my first experience as a mother to a sick kid. I don't think my heart has felt so bad for someone in a really long time. Charlie has been running a high fever all day and night, and has been really tired. We spent most of the day lying on the couch together, and then finally I took him to the dr. All is fine, he is sleeping now and taking Tylenol, but he still feels so hot and it really freaks me out. I hope is feeling better when he wakes up. The doctor said it is going around. Sigh. Now I know what this feels like. AWFUL!
In other Charlie health news, we were surprised to learn that even though he has no symtoms, his giardia test came back POSITIVE. We are starting him on a round of medicine this week and will test again in 2 months. Sheesh!
On a happier note, thanks for all the amazingly sweet comments on my pictures. You guys made me feel perdy. Thank you and I love you all! Pray, or think happy thoughts...whichever you do...for Charliepants to feel better!

Bump Alert!

Okay, here come the tabloid pics! Only no one paid me for them and I am not fabulously dressed or downing martinis. Either way, I decided to be gutsy and go for the actual belly shot and not the under the shirt shot. It's a little scary, and I KNOW it's only gonna get scarier! We'll see if I can be brave the whole time. I will post a pic monthly. :)
Oh, and these are the TWO i got out of like 100 shots. It's really hard to photo yourself like this!
Here goes nothin'!
10 weeks along:


5 more weeks until we find out if Charlie gets a bro or a sis!
:)
Nite all!

My baby's got the sweet tooth...

Well, okay. It was actually MY idea. These cravings are waaaaay more real than I thought they would be. Here is our sweet boy doing all the stirring:






So much fun!!

Here's a funny Charlie story, too:
Well, confession time first. For a couple of weeks, I have been falling into bed early and too tired to rock Charlie and put him to bed. Soooo, we have been happily cuddling in Mommy and Daddy's bed. After a few rough nights of "sideways Charlie" kicks, I knew we had to get back into our routine. So I was rocking him in his room, and he was just not happy about it, poor thing. He was crying, "Daaaaaddyyyy beeeeed!" and I was comforting him and feeling awful for letting him get all messed up. After about 5 minutes of crying, he lies down on my arm, looks up at me and says, totally calmly, "All done cryin'". And I chuckled and said, "Well...thank you."
Then he poked out his perfect lips and gave me a kiss AND said "I luffa you!"
What a sweetie!
I swear, from then on, each time he has cried, after a couple minutes, he just gives it up and says, "All done". I am starting to wonder if ALL his tantrums are for show! Hmmmm....those sneaky toddlers!
I am going to do the obligitory belly pic soon...I can't tell if I am showing or just eating too much (ahem) CAKE. Ughh.
And to show how much our lifestyle has changed in the last 4 months, Adam and I are about to FINALLY watch a DVD we have had from Netflix since BEFORE we went to Ethiopia. Ha. Its actually the last disc of the series, Carnivale. I don't even know if I remember what the heck is going on. I miss my TV! But thanks to the strike, I am not missing much now. Not to worry, Laura...I read that Lost is written already for most of the season! Bring back our junk! We neeeeeed it!
It's so nice to finally be settling into this new year without a million things to do. We have spent some great time with our friends and family and it has been so nice. We even have our next girls' night out this week. Rockin!!!
Love to you and yours!
H