Saturday, March 21, 2009

Welcome home, Edward.

So this weekend has been pretty fantabulous. Friday night, Jess, Apryl, Amber and I got a little silly in preparation for the big day. Frozen margs (in the cold, not as much fun), Twilight clips on the Mac, and dancing in the living room. Apryl is our newbie...but I feel like we have been friends for a long time. She fits right in...which means she is crazy and awesome. :)The gals spent the night since we had to get up super early and go get our man!

Amber says, thank you Apryl!

Watching the kiss scene...know how I know? Check out the toes. Hehe.

This came too soon, but who needs sleep? Vampires don't.

Here we come!

He's OURS!

There was no one there but us and a couple of teenage girls. Oh, well. It was fun to get there early. We had extra time to do this:

Matching flip flops, courtesy of Apryl. Matching toes, courtesy of being just that cool.

Tonight we cooked out with some friends and family, and I am totally kicking myself for not getting one single photo of my Chantel. She lives too, too far away, but it was great having her and her fam down for the night. Here's a great one of me and my women, though:

Tomorrow we are on the move again. We have an Ethiopian gathering that I am really looking forward to, because we are going to meet some new familes, a few of whom live very close to us. This is exciting news, and I can't wait to chat them up...and eat a ton of delish Opia veggies! Email me if you are in the area and need details.

So, here's to new friends, old friends, sexy vampires, and turkey burgers.
It's been a great one!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Here's what's up.

Okay, remember a jillion years ago when my partner and I were working on a new business venture? Well, it's time to unveil! When I was in the studio, I booked an account with the local dance studio. I really, really enjoyed it...the kids, the costumes,the parents. I remembered a conversation I had with Virginia, an awesome photographer that I sometimes second shoot weddings for, about the dance business. She knew a little about it, and about a year later, Twirlz was born. (Slowly...I was pretty pregnant). Now that things are settling down, and we are back in planning (and booking!) mode. Virginia and I are so excited to finally share the website she has been working on (it's one of her old ones, so nevermind the wrong title in the bar.)
I proudly present...

If anyone knows anyone who takes dance classes, send them our way!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


I'm having issues. I feel like I am moving in slow motion, like I'm submerged in jello. (Always wanted to try that, by the way)., that's a lie. More than lately. For a long, long time, I have struggled with some things. I can't even put a finger on all of them. Self-esteem, organization, motivation, purpose, courage, name a few. I sometimes live like there is no tomorrow, and other times I worry that I have no time left and that nothing means anything. Some days the wind is at my feet, and I am unstoppable. Some days, I don't want to get out of bed, because I feel I can't do the things I need to do. Some people are so good at keeping it all together, and I haven't been, and it's catching up with me. In everything...I feel like I have put so many things on the back burner that there's now a fire in the kitchen. Ethiopia. I can't even pretend I am doing enough. Today when I read that Haregewoin Tererra had passed away, I cried, of course in honor of all she has done, but also because I remembered reading There is No Me Without You. I read it and was absorbed and overpowered and knew that I would always, always feel that way. And I do, but the intensity of it has faded. I'm scared I am losing Ethiopia. Because I am lazy, and I can't help but to live this crazy, nonstop life I have created. I can't put the right things first.
Adam. Yep, even that sweet man has been affected. (Please, Mom, don't panic...we are fine). But there has been something missing, or maybe just faded, and the best news I can report is that we are totally aware of it, and instead of growing apart, we are catching each other, not falling, and not backing away. Like we promised we would. He will probably kill me for this much honesty. But I truly believe (think?) that it happens to all couples, and that hiding it only makes me a phony. (Or a normal, private type I really miss him when he is gone, and I know that he is doing it for us, and's alot.
I have come to realize that I have been living with so much crap under my metaphorical rug, that I'm choking on it. I will feel great and in control and then realize that I'm actually going bonkers because the garage is disgusting and anyone who walks through it will think we are totally trashy. So, clean it, right? No, I don't. I just ignore the anxiety I feel every time I come home. Same with the car. Oh, wow. What a nightmare. I NEED to clean it, I NEED an oil change, I NEED to have the tires checked. These are normal, grown up things that for some reason, I like to ignore until they are taunting me, telling me what a loser I am. Every room in my house is full of junk that I don't need. Stuff that no one even touches or remembers. I will say that in a way, I do like a crowded room. I'm not a minimalist. But I don't need this much stuff. Toys, clothes, furniture, the effing chandelier that's still sitting in the foyer. That I didn't need.
It's more than just stuff, too. It's the anxiety I feel when I have a job coming up, or a bill collector calls my cell phone and I ignore it. The feeling that whatever I am doing is just not good enough, and why would I not just snap out of it, go on a frenzy and get this stuff done? The more I wait, the more it all builds and builds, until I can't even remember to send Charlie to school with a green toy for show and tell. I panic when I hear the date because OH CRAP did I have something to do today? Is someone waiting for me somewhere and I forgot?
And why, instead of doing the things I need to do to feel better, to make all of our lives happier, do I constantly escape into this freaking internet? I have no real reason to check my email, blog, facebook 100 times a day. The reason is that it's a distraction. From what's really going on. From the garage, the bills, the kids, the problems. My mind is cluttered. I'm so worried about everyone else that my own life suffers. What people think, what they are doing, who's going where, and should we go, too? If we cook out, I wonder who we can invite over? If we go to the park, I need someone to meet me there. Why is nothing ever enough for me? I can't seem to remember anything, I can't seem to really focus on the kids, or Adam, or the house. It's all just...surviving. And I am sick of it. I know this sounds like some pretty easy things to deal with...procrastination, lack of motivation, and a messy minivan. Who doesn't feel that way? But to me, all those things are on steroids. I sat outside today, looking out of that really gross garage, and thought....enough is enough. I am ready. To box up, to clean out, to photograph from my heart, to really PLAY with my kids, to make out with my husband, to rake the leaves, invent adventures, pay those hospital bills off, to broaden myself, my life, our life. I have everything I ever wanted. What's the point if your hiding inside your head all the time?
It's scary...but exciting, to think that I can make some kind of step to getting out of this place. I want to remember who I am, and like her. And be proud of the wife, mom, friend, sister, daughter, artist that I want to be.

Deep breath.

Found it...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

You like Me!

Well, at least some of you! I have been nominated twice for the Fabulous blog award thingy. It really warms my heart to know that despite my slacking off lately, people still read. Kinda makes me feel like Tilda Swinton winning an Oscar for Michael Clayton, which she was barely even in. GRRR.

Anyway, on to happier topics!

I have been picked by the Moe Better Family. These guys are local, and seriously adorable. They have been through some really hard times, and are finally living it up with cool lil' Moe. I love getting to see them in person, although my coolness meter starts to drop as soon as I am around the lovely Moe Mama. I would LOVE to meet Steph for dinner and hang in the big city together. Seriously, there should be some cap on how cute one person can be!

My other tag was by Jess at Our Ever Growing Family. Talk about cute And the perfect number of them, I think. Jess is awesome and honest and makes you feel like you have known her forever when you read her. I think that we would be great friends in real life!

So the deal is that now I have to share 5 of my most fabulous addictions. Only 5?
Okay, in no particular order:

Although I am starting to agree with Adam that it may be the downfall of society as we know it, I still log in daily (read:hourly) to see what the peeps are up to. I can no longer imagine a world where I don't know what so and so had for dinner, what my sister is currently craving, or who got stuck in traffic this afternoon. I'm thinking of upgrading to a Blackberry next month. Can you guess why??

Come on, who isn't? I mean, it's insane. I have gotten several people hooked on it, just for fun. Catherine, who almost didn't trust me after I forced her to borrow The O.C (which, yes, I LOVE) is completely caught up after only a few months. My friend Cindy, who had NO idea what it was, is now ordering season sets on Amazon. If you don't watch it, you SHOULD. It's the best, best show ever. (Well, other than The Wonder Years.)

I go through a couple jars of these a week. I stand over the sink and eat them like they're going to run away. I stomp my foot for the hot ones. I put them in our big salads, even though most people pick them out and give them to me. My mouth is watering right now!

This is one that has been trying to sneak away from me for the last couple of years. I have ALWAYS loved rides. The biggest, scariest ones. And lately, I am in line, a little anxious, looking around thinking, "well, if that little kids can do it...." Then I get on and immediately I'm laughing my butt off and never want it to end. It's euphoric. I missed out last summer, so this year, it's ON. But I will be pulling extra hard on those safetly buckles, just to be sure.

Need I say more?

Okay, now I get to nominate some folks!
5 Fabulous Blogs.
And the Bloscars go to...
This is my gal Catherine's new blog. And yes, this is my plug! Go check it out!
(Yes, Cat, you have to do it, but you can do it at your home blogger. :)
This is one of my best blog friends, Dierdre. Our kids are similar, in age and origin! She's a lot like me...and a lot like the me I want to be. And she hates being tagged. Teehee.
Cathy is another blogfriend who lives too far away. Her kids crack me up from thousands of miles away, and I cannot wait to give her a squeeze when we finally meet. Cathy, I hope you are a hugger. :)
An award, to welcome sweet lil Amber to blogworld! Please go say hi, and read all about my sweet babies. :)
My guru. Seriously, Charlie Fekadu would not be here if it were not for Cindy. We met shortly after Adam and I started the process, and she literally did everything but fill out our paperwork. HOURS of instant messaging. Phone calls. A trip to the west to see the Wonder Twins. I miss you, you crazy psycho. :)

I hear the music playing in the time is up! :)
Thank you, and good night!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


This afternoon, I got a gift I don't think I could have ever imagined. Maybe it's not meant for me, and maybe it's something I want to see, so that I could feel the incredible peace that came over me when I saw it.
I don't know how I never saw it before, in all this time.
So, am I a crazy 'Jesus-in-the-grilled-cheese' person...or does this give you chills, too?

Wow, wow, wow!