Wednesday, December 12, 2007

News. I mean NEWS.

After thinking and thinking about it, I finally decided to announce (for real this time) that we are expecting Baby Beauchamp #2! AHHHHHHHH!!!! I have taken 4 tests, and all of them were positive. I have been feeling SO awful for the past couple of weeks. Finally, I concluded that I either had some unknown awful disease OR.... 4 positive tests later, we have a doc appointment on Monday for our first ultrasound. PHEW! I really really did not expect this, and so I am still in a bit of shock. This only happened yesterday, and I realize it is very soon to be telling the news, but if you know me well, you know I suck at keeping secrets. And anyway, this is my blog for my updates...and this is one hell of an update!
Now time for some blunt honesty. Today in the midst of sharing our happy news with a very good friend, I realized what the nagging in the back of my head has been for the past few days. Is it guilt? Not exactly, but it is something like it. Maybe it comes from the amount of time I KNOW we are going to hear this phrase:
"Ohhhhh, you JUST adopted and NOW you are pregnant! Well, that's the way it goes!"
Or something to that effect. I REALIZE that most people do not say this in a mean or insulting way. But when I think of what that implies of my sweet Charlie, it really upsets me. Imagine if he could understand what they were saying. I think it translates something like this:
"Ohhhhh, look you already went and got that little boy, and now you get to have your OWN baby like you wanted!"
Ouch, right?
Now, I am in no way trying to take away from the excitement of what is going on. I am grateful for this pregnancy just like I am grateful for our adoption process. Neither is or ever will be more important that the other. I am sure I will be a better mother for both. I think the shakiness I feel inside is my own fear of people assuming that only now will I feel like a mother. I really hope my friends and family are not reading this thinking, "Wow, defensive, much?". I know everyone in our lives ADORES Charlie. It does seem like a bummer to announce such happy news with all these "buts". Part of me just wanted to type up an excited "WOOOOHOOOOO" post, but I did feel the need to put this out there first. Today has been an emotional day for me (pesky hormones). Prepare to read something really silly: There was even a moment when I wondered if my friends I have met and bonded with through adoption were going to, you know...oh, I can't even type it.
So, maybe I should have gone with the short and sweet announcement post. Maybe by defending my family I am implying that there is indeed, something to defend. I hope not. There are many ways to build a family, we all know that. Our first came to us through the miracle of adoption, or second will come by the miracle of birth. (Oh, sweet Jesus, I have to BIRTH something!!!!!) Our third...Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. So, here we go, from a family of 3 to a family of 4 in less than a year. You won't want to miss this. I sure don't.
:)

31 comments:

Chris and Christina said...

Okay, so now an official comment: Congratulations to Charlie on becoming a soon-to-be BIG BROTHER!!!

Oh, yes, and congrats to the mom and dad, too. :)

Seriously, so so so excited for your family. What a wonderful Christmas present!

All the best,
Christina

PS - And for what it's worth, I really appreciated your honest reflections on comments like, "see what happens when you adopt?, etc." I actually had one of those directed at me today (no, I'm not pg), and it really bothered me. Your explanation exactly articulated why it bothered me so much.

Anonymous said...

So...how about 2nd and 3rd by birth (you know...simultaneously)! I vote twins...family of 3 to a family of 5 in less than a year!
All joking aside, I couldn't be happier to be a part of your family. To be there at the airport when Charlie came home was one of the most intense, emotional, and exciting days of my life. What's the difference...airport, hospital? It doesn't really matter where I go to meet my family for the first time! I am honored to be an aunt to a little boy named Charlie and soon I will be an aunt to one other little child in this world! (A little girl this time?)I can't wait! And no matter how many days you need me to come spend the day with you and Charlie, I'll be there...
Love from your fabulous sis,
Marlena

Jess Addison said...

There is so much love in the three of you that it only makes sense to spread it to another Baby B. Congrats on the new addition! Here's to another exciting year! Loves!

Southerngagirl78 said...

Aww, Heather I Couldn't be more happier for your family as I am now. Congrats on the Pregnancy and who cares what people think. You guys did the right thing by adopting Charlie. He is the most precious boy ever even though I have not met him personally. He will make a wonderful Big Brother. Congrats again. I have to say it is the most amazing thing ever to be pregnant. i have just starting feeling our baby moving and kicking in there. It's weird but all at the same time a Happy feeling. Congrats to the entire Family. Best of Luck. Love ya Always Tanya

Kari said...

Heather, Adam & Charlie--CONGRATS! We are so, so happy for you guys and can't wait to see who Baby Beauchamp is like. Charlie will be a great big brother and you guys will be great parents.

We are so glad that we got to spend time with you in Ethiopia and be there when you met CF. We love you guys and are so happy for you!

Kelly said...

Oh my, my, my! I have already congratulated you so now what I want to say is, I will give you $5 for every time you tell some "unintentionally" rude person, "Oh we tried to return him, but we had already removed the tags!." Ha! I love you so much and I am incredibly proud of the mom you already are.

Melissa Jackson said...

Congratulations! Big families are the best! I know all about that going from a family of 3 to a family of 5! I am very excited for you, Adam and Charlie! Best of luck with your pregnancy!

Mama Papaya said...

Happy, happy news. Congratulations!

Mrs. Baker said...

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

I think it is amazing! We will adopt than have a bio kid....than adopt again....have some more bio kids...and keep up the cycle until my husband cuts me off!

Families are made through love....the rest is just technicalities!

Best of luck!

Mrs. Baker said...

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

I think it is amazing! We will adopt than have a bio kid....than adopt again....have some more bio kids...and keep up the cycle until my husband cuts me off!

Families are made through love....the rest is just technicalities!

Best of luck!

maria said...

Congratulations!!! YOur christmas sure is a happy one!

I was just reading an adoption diskussion in Sweden about peoples "sayings" and I know what you mean. People who comment like that,comment everything that doesn´t fit in their small conception of the world...(they dont understand that adoption is not a second choice). The love for ones kids is so big that it hurts if someone questions any part. I will be like you a mother with children coming to the family each way and I think its wonderful.Each child is so unique!

I love the comments here (like the one about the tags). Your friends really know what matters and they are also besides warm and loving, funny. It will be exiting to follow you blog. Love in your family is surely nice to read about! Charlie is so blessed becoming a big brother, congratulations to him too!
I´m waiting for our fourth (this will be adopted) so I share your experience of waiting for a new familymember! Enjoy!!

Anonymous said...

I SOOOOOO know what you mean about the sentiment of "oh now you get the baby you REALLY wanted". Such a crappy issue...I hate telling people that I did not come to adoption through infertility, because it seems so beside the point....but I also really hate that assumption that a pregnancy happened because we adopted and/or that a pregnancy is what we really wanted. What does that attitude do for the children? For both the bio and adopted children it sucks to be getting that message. It will be interesting to see how you work this out!

Oh, and...Congratulations!

Catherine and Dustin said...

I tell you, I can't get over how all our lives are just crazy with changes!!! To think we were all single, young and party monsters just a few short years ago and now we all need minivans!!!haha (jk, I don't really want a minivan although I think Dustin will MAKE me get one)

Congrats and heres to a nice, easy pregnancy and virgin drinks at the pool parties!!!! ;)

Laura said...

It has been a privilege for me to be blessed with your friendship. I witnessed you go through the process of adoption where you fell in love with your first child. Now I will get to enjoy sharing your joy as you fall in love with your second.

Your announcement was beautifully written, SO Heather and very heartfelt without an ounce of defensiveness. Just pure love and a strong sense to protect your child from harm. Any mother would do the same...

I really think Mrs. Baker said it best: "Families are made through love....the rest is just technicalities!"

So, technically speaking:

CONGRATULATIONS Adam, Heather and Charlie!

Laura :)
www.nosmallfeat.typepad.com

PS: You are always going to be in da club. Once you're in, there's no getting out. XOXO

andydrew (heh) said...

Congratulations! I'm so excited for you guys!

The Krumwiede Six said...

Congratulations on the newest addition to your family!! I can understand and relate to your feelings and fears. They are only natural... Please know that your TRUE friends and family will not think you are being defensive...but that you are trying to protect BOTH your children... Hugs and holiday wishes
The Krumwiedes

Mama Sweet Pea said...

Heather,
I am so excited for all three of you. Don't let the turkeys out there get you down....families are created through love, and your kids are your kids no matter how they come into your family! I look forward to following your pregnancy as I followed your adoption!

cathy said...

Oh man. I am so thrilled for you, and you handled the "dreaded phrase" incredibly well in your post. Way to go.

Heather, Congratulations!

Stephanie said...

Oh Heather, this was so beautifully written!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! I am so excited for you, Adam and Charlie and understand completely what you put into words. And add to that, I can't keep a secret to save my life :). I'm so looking forward to watching your family grow.

Gypsy said...

YAY!!!!!!!!For babies!!!! I am so happy for my Beauchamps. You guys are already awesome parents, so more kiddos=more fun.

"Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother."
-Oprah

I think you guys actually became a parents the day you decided to get Charlie. I know you probably feel crappy now, but I can't wait to meet this new baby!!!

Lori said...

OMG! What a wonderful Christmas surprise. Don't pay any attention to what anyone says, it's your family and you will love all your children the same - no explanations! Your biological child is just as much a gift! Congratulations!!! :)

Chatter said...

Yeah! Congratulations :)
I bet Charlie is excited to be a big brother. Hope the morning sickness is non-existent.
Congrats again!

Chandra

Hannah said...

That is awesome news!! CONGRATULATIONS!

Hannah

Diane said...

Wow!!! Congratulations! That's totally great. I thought what you wrote about people's reactions was dead on. Did you notice that whenever the media talked about Katie Holmes being pg with Tom Cruise's baby, they would say it was his "first child." ANd then add, "he has 2 adopted children with Nicole Kidman." That used to enrage me! Like those kids didn't count or something. I bet they really liked reading that.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! (I'm part of the Georgia Ethiopian group but we haven't met yet) We have 2 children by birth. We've got one child by adoption. We are in the process of adopting a little one from Ethiopia. They are all wonderful and I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't even imagine it any other way. We are the family we are supposed to be. You will be the family you are meant to be. So enjoy your pregnancy. Do not feel guilty. Charlie gets to be a big brother!!!! Isn't he lucky!!!!

Jan

Telly and Scott said...

Heather yay! I'm so excited for you:). I can't picture you preggers...that blows my mind in a crazy amazing way. Like I always tell people (and this is one of my quotes!)...DNA alone does not make you a parent,loving your children above and beyond anything and anyone in this world is what makes you a parent! We can all see how much you adore and cherish Charlie. Family is not so cut and dry anymore...whether you give life to your child or would GIVE YOUR life for your child is all the same in my eyes. I love all of you guys like my own biological family and consider you all as such(even though I'm not as close as I would like to be!). It will be so beautiful to watch your family grow. All of your children will always be adored especially since we love you guys all so much;)! Don't worry Mommy..everything we will be as it's meant to be. The people that could have anything slightly negative to say about your new family dynamic can take a flying leap off a burning building. We're sending all our love your way and can't wait to see you guys again! Love you all....Telly and Scotty 2 hottie!!!

pat2006 said...

Congrats!!! What a wonderful Holiday surprise. And by the way, you're stuck with the GA crew!

Pat

Renee said...

Oh my Goodness! Congratulations- what wonderful news! And what a good idea to put that out there- about adopting, getting pregnant. I know people do not mean any harm when they say it but it just grates on my nerves!!! UGH!!! I hope we'll see you guys tonight- I'm dying to meet Charlie- finally! Congratulations- what a year you have ahead of you!

Kerry and Tom said...

Oh my gosh i am seriously crying right now. I am so happy for you guys you have no idea!!!!!!!!!!!
pretend we are there giving you a huge hug. Congrats!!!!
We adore you guys and are so happy.
thank you for the great news

Handlyrics said...

Well first of all, Like Pat said you are stuck with the GA crew. You couldnt get rid of us if you tried!!! Completely out of the question. The process of adoption brought us together in the beginning but friendship is what makes us last. WE love all of you. Congrats on the news. Now you have to decorate again.. lol.

Have a WONDERFUL, Nausea Free Christmas,

Chevella

P. said...

Friend of Chris and Christina:

When people are rude, just think that this is my second gift from God. The first gift was Charlie. Amazing how generous God really is in our lives?