Friday, July 23, 2010

what are we doing tonight?

that used to be THE friday night question. i remember speeding down 92 from work, marlboro out the window, Queen's greatest hits blasting, headed toward Adam's house, feeling total freedom, without even realizing that's what it was. once there, we'd hang out a while, unwind, sit on the porch with the roommates, until someone asked the inevitable question:

"what are we doing tonight?"

the question would be met with multiple voices telling of movie releases, food cravings, local parties, live music, no cover charges, ect. usually we'd call more friends and include them in whatever plan was being hatched. there were lots of dinners at Manhattan's, splitting bottles of Asti with the girls while the guys ate fried mushrooms and talked sports. lots of nights spent dancing and laughing at karaoke. some spent at Lot One, our residence, on the porch playing crazy games and talking all night long. i think the thing that is the strangest to look back on, is that i had no idea. i was so carefree, and didn't even realize it enough to enjoy it. youth is truly wasted on the young.

not that i would go back. these days when we ask each other the question "what are we doing tonight?" it's with a hint of trepidation, subliminally willing the other person to respond with "hmmm, nothing i guess, we could watch a movie?"...*sigh of relief* the old days the question was asked with a tone of urgency, a NEED for the response to be filled with adventure and night air and connections. so much has changed.

i am not saying i want to fully commit to hermit life. everyone who knows me well, knows that will never do. i still love a good night out, some recklessness (carefully executed). but tonight, on a friday evening, making BLTs and chatting over the kids squealing and chasing each other through the house, felt perfect. for a couple of years, i have struggled with giving in to letting nights like this be enough. maybe i was afraid of getting old, sitting still. i'm glad that it's getting easier...this friday night i'm on my couch, doing laundry that i probably WON'T finish, browsing netflix options and thinking about the carrot cake in the kitchen. oh, and blogging. ;)

of course, i am aware that within a couple of months i will get stir crazy and anxiously ask the question with a different intent. that's the beauty of giving in to growing can handle the answer no matter what it is, and still have a fabulous time.

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